05: And it hadn't even been three weeks... (Written September 16, 2008)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 at 3:40pm
As I have entered my 5th year of high school, it has seemed hard to keep up with my friendships. I try my best to hang out with all my friends, but sometimes it is difficult. I don't have them in many classes. Sometimes, it seems like some of them don't care anymore. We've all made new friends. Some of us have moved away. Some of us just don't talk to each other anymore at all.
Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, it seems like you have no interest in being my friend anymore. You call me names (jokingly) but sometimes it hurts me. I tell you to stop, and it doesn't help. Sometimes you hit me (jokingly) for the dumbest reasons, and it hurts. When you hit someone as a joke, you don't have to whack them, just a gentle pat is fine. And I freaking love you. You're like my best friend, why do we have to be like this? I feel out of the loop often, and other people feel even more out of the loop.
I still go out to lunch almost everyday with two other members of our group, with which I have no classes, just to be able to hang. We laugh and tease each other on our way to Subway everyday. Somehow, our group went from depending on each other to depending on alcohol for fun. Just to let you know, I will not be drinking between now and Hallowe'en, unless it is a damn special occasion. I might on Homecoming, but it is doubtful.
I love you guys, and I value our friendships, and I don't want things to fall through the cracks.
I have also been getting along very well this year with other people I didn't know last year until the end. And another one who I knew all last year, but didn't get along with. I've changed, in more than one way. We all have. There is NO way none of us haven't changed. I've been trying to cut down on the amount of swearing that comes out of my mouth. It offends people. It offends my friends. It offends my co-workers. It offends me. Yeah, I still swear occasionally, but not as much as I used to.
I have also somewhat befriended someone my other friends hate, for no reason. Grow up. If you guys don't like them, leave them the hell alone. Don't talk shit about them behind me. That goes for any of my friends. Don't talk shit about them to me. Cuz it WILL get back to them if I feel it's necessary. I'm not saying I can't keep a secret. I can if it's about YOU. It's just I don't want to hear your gossip. Especially about my friends.
As you are reading this, you might know who some of the people mentioned in this note are. You might be one of them. It should be obvious to you if you are, if you're wondering, message me, and I'll tell you.
Let's keep these friendships going, let's work things out.
<3 .
PEACE OUT.

Sooz
AKA:Soozle
AKA:Soozamajigger